2014

Today, the office’s steady hum of keyboard clicks and weather conversations was wonderfully interrupted by bouncing footsteps and footballs as several kids roamed the halls.  It’s New Year’s Eve, and with most kids off from school, parents were forced to either hire a babysitter or “divide and conquer,” as one coworker told me—“Dad’s at home with the baby, and I’m here with this little guy.”  The squealing, miniature humans were a welcome addition to the already-stirring holiday excitement at work.

At one point during the day, I walked in to the kitchenette to find one such little girl, probably no more than seven years old, reaching to fill her bottle in the water cooler.  Not wanting to scare or intimidate her, I didn’t say anything at first.  And then she took the lead:

“Have I seen you yet?”

I smiled and looked back at her, “No, I don’t think we’ve met!  My name is Allison.  What’s yours?” 

“McKinley, but my little brother calls me Kinley.”

We exchanged a few more words, and our conversation ended with her asking me if I would be here later this week (she’s coming back).

I was so struck by McKinley’s openness, gentleness, and kind spirit, and soon the words of Christ whispered to my memory:

“Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children. I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” (Luke 18:16-17)

How incredible that childhood holds the secrets to a life of faith!  How often I try to prove my knowledge of scripture, learn more theology, and defend more ideology.  How often I try to accomplish more for God and go to more places for His name.

What I could stand to do is be more like McKinley: befriend others and be gentle, open.

I pray that in 2014, my pursuit of spiritual maturity does not propel me forward toward lofty intelligence but backwards toward child-like love and faithfulness.

Fully clean

If I had a dime for every time I’ve heard the phrase: 

“I know deep down [they’re] a good person.” 

...I’d have piles of dimes too high to climb.  But the Gospel, a new paradigm, does not tell us we’re good inside.  It tells us that we’re sick, we’ve fallen short, we are in need.  And Jesus, Son of God, comes and makes us clean. 

But now, I find that a new lie has come alive.  A lie that lets me think that “deep down inside” I’m still that sick, lost, depraved soul that I once was.  A lie that makes me feel like my righteousness is layers of clothing I put on, making me warmer and warmer until you rip the zippers, tear apart the seams and see the real me—withered, cold.  A lie that assumes my attempts to live clean are just those—attempts, that very often fall short.  When I am successfully “walking in step with the Spirit”—avoiding temptation, standing up to sin, loving from an overflow of joy within—it feels like merely an act; soon I’ll walk off stage and go back to being me. 

The “me” that longs for less than God’s best.   
The “me” that has a continual lust for more.   
The “me” that’s stuck.   
The “me” whose desires wreak havoc and devour my soul. 

But my life is not a tight rope, and what’s “right” is not a cloak I don.  The old is totally gone.  The stage I’m standing on is grace, and I will not be replaced with an under study or anybody who’s not me, redeemed.  I’m fully clean, through and through.  I don’t always do what I should do or what I want to do but if there’s one thing that’s always true it’s that I have what I don’t deserve—salvation. 


Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5:17) 

You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you…If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his spirit who dwells in you. (Romans 8:9-11) 

And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses. (Colossians 2:13)