The Promised Land

The Old Testament is a bit fuzzy for me, to be honest.  I can talk Romans 12—Living Sacrifices, 1 Corinthians 13—Love, Galatians 5—Freedom in Christ, 1 John 4—God’s Love all day, but once we get to prophets, exile, sacrifices, the Israelites…things are a little more unclear.

Recently, though, I’ve become curious about how all of the events of the Old Testament fit together—specifically, God’s deliverance of His people in to the promised land.  I am challenging myself in the upcoming weeks to commit myself to closer study of the Old Testament, but in the meantime, I consulted the second most holy source for a summary of events: Wikipedia.

This is what I gathered:  God made a covenant with Abraham that the land of Canaan would be the promised land, a place where Abraham’s descendants AKA the Israelites AKA God’s holy and chosen people would dwell.  Those descendants ended up in Egypt by way of Jacob and Joseph, and they were happy, peaceful, and comfortable, but that was not the place where God called them to be.  The Israelites were becoming so numerous that they were beginning to outnumber the Egyptians, and this made Pharaoh, King of Egypt, mad.  So Pharaoh oppressed the Israelites in his country—persecuted them and killed their children.  God told Moses that he would be the one to lead the Israelites out of Egypt in to the land God had promised to Abraham, so he did.  But the Israelites got mad and frustrated at God along the way in the desert because they thought He wasn’t providing for them, even though this whole time, God was fulfilling His purpose for the Israelites by bringing them to their destiny.

I was talking to one of my closest friends and “iron sharpener,” Katie Baker, today and we both realized something about our own lives: sometimes God forces us to get to places where He knows we would not go on our own.  It occurred to me that this is the plan that God has been working out for all of time—not just with the Israelites but also with me.

It is so easy for me to get comfortable in Egypt.  To be amongst people who know me and understand me, in land that is familiar and that I have always known, but it is not my promised land.  And God knows that I will not leave that place on my own.  So He orchestrates my circumstances such that I must go.  And it hurts really badly.  And I have no choice.  I am a controller, so if I have to go, at least let it be on my own terms.  At least let me be the one to choose the trek to the promised land.  No.  Moses must be the one to lead me.  And I find myself on the road to my destiny, the place where He will fulfill His purpose for me, and I will finally be complete in Him, but it hardly feels that way because the desert is so hot, and lonely, and dry.

I have a choice.  I can whine and complain in the desert.  Or I can stay focused on the promised land that the Lord has revealed to me.  I can thank Him for bringing me to the place that I did not want to be, but He knew I needed to be.

“And Moses said to the people, ‘Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again.  The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.’” –Exodus 14:13-14

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” –Jeremiah 29:11

LEGGO

Sometime after it meant drop the waffles, “leggo” (#LEGGO) became a term used by NBA players, Diddy Dirty Money (@iamdiddy), Biebs (@justinbieber), and me to get pumped up (in layman’s terms: “Let’s go!”).

This has been the theme of my last couple of weeks: LEGGGGOOOOO!

My tendency and inclination is to think of solutions.  I want practical steps that I can take to walk out of difficult and confusing situations I’m in.  I want to think and think and think and plan how I can start relying on Christ instead of the other things I put my hope in.  And sometimes practicality is good.  Sometimes an action plan, boundaries, etc. are necessary.  But I got to the place the other day where I realized I just need to go.  Stop planning to plan how I’m going to start walking more in step with Spirit and just start doing it…not just me, but us—me and the Holy Spirit inside of me.

And so for the past few days when I have felt my heart longing for material things, when I have felt myself getting upset because this person didn’t give me the attention I wanted, in those moments I mentally decide, LEGGO!  What I find is that I don’t need to muster up the energy, I need only to orient my heart in such a way that God knows I want to be with Him in that moment, and He is faithful.  It is not that everything makes more sense, just that everything feels more right.

Freedom is Free

In all of my struggles—with sin, with calling, with decision making—I almost always find myself asking the questions: "What will make God most happy?"..."What will glorify Him MOST?"  Nothing—God is already infinitely glorified.  Nothing we do or say will give Him more or less glory than He already has.  He is not depending on us for anything.

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31)

I think we get to choose (I hope we get to choose).  So long as the choice we make does not go deliberately against scripture, I think we get to decide where we go next, and our only responsibility is to give God glory in that.

I get it wrong a lot.  I perform.  I think that something I do (or don’t do) will make God more or less satisfied with me, will be better for His kingdom.  I don’t think that's the case.  God has already won; when Jesus overcame the grave, the battle was won, and freedom ensued.  All of our own standards for what brings God “more” glory are fabrications of our own religion.  

For example, after graduating from college I had endless options before me—literally and figuratively, the world was at my fingertips.  Isolate two options: 1) Join The Pittsburgh Fellows program, work at Clover Hill Foods, and live in Sewickley, PA.  2) Sell all I have, move to [insert third world country], and work as a missionary.  Even I am tempted to say that Option 2 would have “given God more glory.”  I would have been more used there.  Made more of an impact for Christ’s kingdom.  I don’t know if these things are true or not.  But, regardless, am I to believe that I made the wrong decision by choosing The Fellows program?  I hope not!  If every decision that had to be made in life (for which there is no passage of scripture that speaks directly to the issue) was a cosmic chess match in which God had the right answer and was anxiously hoping that we would use our free will to “discern” and “mull over” and “discover” the right answer, there would be no time to actually live out our will!  Life would be more like a final exam than a path along which we get to walk with our Father.

The Lord is already accomplishing His will, and there’s nothing we can do to stop Him:

“The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me.” (Psalm 138:8)

“We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him.” (Romans 8:28)

All things.  ALL things.  We must commit ourselves to loving Him fully.  That is all.  And then He will work in everything for our good.

“What shall we say, then?  Should we go on sinning so that grace may increase?  By no means!” (Romans 6:1)

I am not arguing for a free will that let’s us do whatever we want because “the Lord will accomplish His will for me regardless of what I do.”

“Renounce ungodliness and worldly passions…live self-controlled, upright, and Godly lives.” (Titus 2:12)

We have a responsibility to be obedient.  To be slaves to righteousness.  To “set an example for the believers in speech, love, conduct, faith, and purity” (1 Timothy 4:12).  To “train ourselves to be godly” (1 Timothy 4:7).  But none of these things will make God more or less pleased with us.

Freedom is not mind games, or searching for buried treasure, or living on a leash that only stretches as far as we “discern” God is letting it stretch.  Freedom also is not living for ourselves, or sinning because “grace abounds”, or believing in relativist doctrine.  Freedom is free.

Dawn

I started loving coffee in college.  Since then, I have found it to be true that the best part of waking up really is Foldgers in my cup, and there have been few (if any?) mornings that I haven’t started my day with a cup ‘o joe.

But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve come across a different phenomenon—one that is even greater than my ability to be woken up by just the simple sound of coffee dripping in to the pot.  It is God’s grace which seems to come so prominently especially in morning:

“His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning.” (Lamentations 3:22-23)

There is something mysterious that happens when the sun’s beams touch the edge of the earth at the beginning of each day.  Something that makes not only creation but me feel new.  Scripture tells us over and over again that life is light (John 1:4), and we are not created for darkness (Ephesians 5:8).  When this literal light breaks in the morning, there seems to be a figurative light that also refracts in the depths of my heart.

This all sounds wonderful and beautiful, just as the Lord made creation to be, but there is a significance in these promises that goes beyond just the splendor of a sunrise.  This implies that I can walk in freedom each day.  Regardless of what happened yesterday—the things I did which I did not want to do; the thorns in my flesh; the sin that so easily entangles over and over and over again—today can be new.  We do not have to spend a month, a week, or even a day trying to fix ourselves up again before we can be new.  We do not have to make up for our mistakes.  We need only to wait for the sun, the Son.  And with repentant, humble hearts we can face each new day with confidence.

Foldgers (or my current favorite—Starbucks' blonde roast) comes quite close, but the best part of waking up is this: “God will help [you] when morning dawns” (Psalm 46:5).

Humbled

The concept of starting a blog is much less intimidating until you're staring at that blinking cursor, trying to fill in the white box with words that people will actually want to read...which is exactly what I'm doing now.  So consider me intimidated.  What is it about knowing that these sentences will be cast in to the open world of cyberspace (where DO they go??) that makes writing all of the sudden so nerve-wracking?

The truth is, I'm not really trying to amass dozens of readers to my blog.  I also realize that I'm a bit behind on the blogging game (although I would like to think I was one of the original bloggers...Xanga, anyone?).  But here I am.  And my intentions, simply, are to share and to shine light.

God has been so good to me in helping me to understand.  Over the last couple of years I have started writing down revelations about things around me that I can only attribute to being from the Lord, and now it's time to testify.  I will post my revelations here--some new, some old.

In this moment, I, baby blogger, am humbled.  Humbled by feeling "exposed" in this writing.  Humbled in knowing that I am a terribly broken soul in progress, despite any indication this blog may give otherwise.  And humbled by the grace that has been extended to me in the form of understanding.  All glory to God!