Who

Remember when you used to come home from school and your mom and dad would ask you how your day was, and you would just say—“Good”?  Regardless of whether you discovered the solution for world peace in social studies class, or got all of your teeth knocked out playing dodgeball in gym class, or were elected class president and were carried through the halls on your classmates’ shoulders, or you got sent to the principal’s office ten times in one day, your day was always just…good.

That’s kind of how I feel right now (although I really did have a good—maybe great—day…I promise).  Sometimes after a really full day, I find myself forgetting who I am; feeling like I’m just good.  I talked to so many people today, thought about so many things, sat in meetings, heard presentations, made presentations, checked my email, made some calls, checked my email again, blasted music, listened, inquired.  I was a coworker, a friend, an employee, a customer, a stranger, a roommate and after all that, I think—“Who am I?...without all of this other stuff.  What did I do today?”  And I can’t come up with a good answer. 

I think those thoughts are lies.

Praise God that each and every day there is an answer to those questions.  How often I take for granted that whether I feel like myself or not (whatever that means), whether I am tired or alert, regardless of what things filled my life that day, I can know that because I “received Him” and “believed in His name” I have the right to be called “God’s [child]” (John 1:12).  My identity is determined and set in blood, and “I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” (Galatians 2:20).

Here are a few lines from a poem I wrote last summer:

I hope there’s never a me

I want to be only He who was and is

I’ll deny all I find that defines less than a shell of the Divine

Tonight I am thankful that I can fall asleep knowing Who I am and Who I will wake up to be.