There are times when God’s word hits me like a lead bib at
the dentist. It is in these moments that
I understand the truth that “man does not live on bread alone but on every word
that comes from the Father” (Matthew 4:4).
It is in these moments that I feel foolish for ever getting frustrated
that God “doesn’t speak to me,” and I realize that my longings for a booming
voice of thunder from God can be satisfied each and every day by the words He
is still speaking in His Living Word—the Bible.
Praise Him!
There is a short verse in Ephesians that says “figure out
what pleases the Lord” (5:10). It has
always struck me as incredible that He would trust us with that task. But the
picture is so peaceful and comforting—like a dad who watches his precious child
learn to walk and can only smile each time the toddler falls back down before
getting it just right. Today God spoke
powerfully to me through His word, and I think I just might have “figured out”
something about pleasing Him.
I’ve noted before that I am a planner. I am a “fixer” and a controller. I like practical solutions. I have known for awhile that God doesn’t
always work that way. He is outside the
realm of the natural, so I have to believe that His “solutions” don’t always
fit within the confines of my little brain and imagination. But despite knowing that, it is still so easy
to get caught up in the action plan for how to fix things.
This is true especially in the case of sin. I’ve noticed in my life that when conviction comes
and sin is brought to light, my knee-jerk reaction is “What can I do to fix
this?” I know that in Jesus Christ my
relationship with God is “fixed” from sin, but I immediately assume control of
figuring out what I must do going
forward to keep me from that sin.
Recently I have even deceived myself (and made this all the more
confusing) by trying to make “freedom” in to a sort of plan. e.g. “I
don’t want to get too caught up in making a plan or controlling my
circumstances so I am deciding to simply live in freedom.” This might be closer to the truth (see my post on why), but it is still not what pleases the Lord if I am simply
substituting “making a plan to get free from sin” with “making a plan to live
in freedom”. Neither of those address
the real issue with sin.
The real issue with my sin is that it grieves the heart of God (see Ephesians 4:30). So when I sin against Him, my heart should be
broken:
“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken
and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” (Psalm 51:17)
God does not want our plans to live in boundaries or in
freedom. He wants our hearts. And when our hearts belong to God, they
should be overwhelmingly distressed by the thought of doing anything that would
hurt Him.
“I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of
God rather than burnt offerings.” (Hosea 6:6)
The solution to sin, then—when we have a full
“acknowledgement of God”—will not have to be a plan. If we are really in touch with how much our
sin grieves God, we will be motivated to stay far away from it.
Why is this concept so much easier in practice on earth? I have no trouble being motivated to act in a
way that will keep me in good standing with my parents or my friends. Why is it so much harder with God?—maybe
because He seems far away? We don’t have
to literally look Him in the face every day and admit our wrongdoing (like we
might have to do with friends and family).
Maybe because we are so clear about His grace and mercy that we forget
that He is a jealous God who is deeply affected by our transgressions? After all, His grace is not a robotic
movement that is automatically activated after each time we sin. He cares, and He feels, and He is hurt by my
sin.
Father, let me see Your face clearly before me! Let my closeness to You be such that I am
motivated by love to do everything in
my power to never grieve your heart.
And let me never lose my joy and zeal for grace, knowing that You extend
it from an affectionate, feeling heart.
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