Eating pears in peace

This morning, after getting in to work at 6:56am and getting right to work, I had approximately 8 minutes before my 8:00 meeting.  I grabbed the pear I had packed in my Vera Bradley lunch bag along with three stiff paper towels from our company break room and sat back down in the exact spot where I spend at least 160 hours per month (one of which I'd already put in this morning) my desk chair.  I took one bite and my mind immediately raced again to what I could look at, read, accomplish.  What small task could I accomplish in the (now) 7 minutes before my meeting?  What website could I pull up to blur my eyes over for a few minutes?  Who has instagrammed since the last time I checked?

But this morning, I decided to wait.  Pear juice flowing down my chin, puddling on the paper towels below and splashing on to the space bar of my keyboard, I decided to spend just a few minutes in peace.

I realized how little time I allow for peace to work its way in, and then I wonder why I don't have any.  Too much work, too much social media, too much stimulation. Be still and know. 

Trouble, Trouble, Trouble

“Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour.  Father, glorify your name!” (John 12:27)

If we find ourselves in life circumstances that are difficult, perhaps we must consider that there is a “very reason” for us being there.  At the least, we can know that there was a “very reason” for Jesus to be in His moments of difficultly, and so we can rejoicingly participate with Him in suffering (1 Peter 4:13).

Certainly, none of us are Jesus.  Not one of us is destined to die for the salvation of all mankind.  I think about the countless times in the book of Psalms where David pleas with God for help…

“Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to me neck…”

“Deliver me from sinking in the mire…”

“O Lord, do not delay”

“Rescue me, O God, from the hand of the wicked…”

“O my God, make haste to help me!”

Asking God to save us from our trouble is not wrong.  But we must realize what our trouble may be accomplishing and the significance it might have.  Not the least of which is that our suffering increases our dependency on Christ.  And our choice to actually depend on Him in trouble—to sit in our moments of anxiety, sadness, confusion, and turmoil believing that Christ is the only solid rock on which we stand rather than retreating to vices or distractions—will “glorify His name”.

Gravity

Gravity wants to bring me down.

Keep me where the light is.

His Mighty Power

When you can’t write or sing or run.  When you can’t clean or cook or cook and clean.  When you can’t be together.  When you can’t lift a fist to morning.  When you can’t slow down enough to hear your thoughts.  When how you are is “good”.

“Be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power.” (Ephesians 6:10)

Twenty Twelve

For some reason I didn’t give much thought to the fact that yesterday was the last day of the year.  Maybe it’s because once you enter the working world, New Year’s Eve feels pretty much just like any other Saturday night.  I did, however, start yesterday, December 31, 2012, by Instagram-ing the following picture and accompanying caption:

At the time, it was just another beautiful sunrise over Mt. Washington and an obvious choice for a witty remark.

But as the rhythms of closing out a year played on around me, I felt the Lord tell me that I really do need to do some “telling”.

“I will recount the steadfast love of the Lord, the praises of the Lord, according to all that the Lord has granted us, and the great goodness to the house of Israel that he has granted them according to his compassion, according to the abundance of his steadfast love.” (Isaiah 63:7)

And so I want to proclaim some of what the Lord has done this year.  Some of what He has taught me.  Some of the places He has taken me.  Some of the blessings He has given me.

Granted, each of the 365 days of this year was a gift, so this list is not nearly comprehensive.  But let us give Him praise! 

In 2012, the Lord…

Strengthened my relationships with Thomas, MK, and Pete despite the four of us being the furthest we’ve ever been from each other (physically).  He allowed us to text, ask advice, laugh, fight, and be an encouragement to one another.

Gave me wonderfully valuable time with the “Oxygenites”—my first and enduring community of brothers and sisters in Christ.

Taught me, through experience, more than I ever knew about spiritual warfare.  He helped me learn how to equip myself with the armor of God.  I learned how to truly FIGHT through my emotions and circumstances and stand on the truth of God’s word.

Led me through a difficult season of anxiety, depression, and a general feeling that I had lost myself and had no control over my emotions and reactions.  He brought me wise counsel, gracious friends and family, and freed me to accept God’s sovereign control over my life.  (I am still learning how to give Him that control each day.)

Cultivated in me a deep love for Scripture.  Most days now I long to read His Word!

Provided me with my first full-time, big-girl job with a salary.

Through a string of summer weddings and God’s grace, allowed me to see my family a lot.  Gave me new appreciation for the relationships that will always be there, and taught me about treasuring the short times I get with them.

Let me move back to the city (complete with a Pittsburgh mailing address) after a nine-month stint in Sewickley.  I fell in love all over again with the skyline, narrow streets with lots of people, and 376 East and West.

Gave me precious time with both sets of my grandparents.  Helped me realize how incredibly blessed I am to have generations of family members who value teaching their kids how to serve the Lord.

Gave me the opportunity to be a bridesmaid two times over!  Blessed me with rich, long-lasting friendships and so many earthly symbols of His commitment to us.

Opened my eyes to more of the spiritual realities around me, largely in part from writing in my new blog.

Brought me new and unexpected friendships with people of different ages, backgrounds, and life stages and encouraged my soul through each one of them.

Let me go on some dates; taught me new things about myself and how to like myself more.  Gave me the privilege of being served.

Provided me humbling opportunities to lead others in worship—puhhhhrayyyyze HIM!

Gave me new appreciation for His creation and sunlight by allowing me to fall in like with running (wouldn’t quite call it “falling in love”). 

All glory and honor to Him in 2012, 2013, and forever!  I am so thankful :)

A (Post) Christmas Carol

Is it too late for another Christmas post?  KLove is still playing the Christmas tunes and New Years is kind of like a fake holiday, so I think I’m okay.

This Christmas I had two different encounters with A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.  The story is one that I always assumed I knew because it’s such a classic, but I realized this year that all I really knew about the story is that there’s a guy named Scrooge who says “bah humbug”, and I watched Melissa Zimmerman (when she was a Walters) in a theater production of the story when we were in about ninth grade.

Also, when it comes to fictional characters who hate Christmas, everything starts to blur together with The Grinch.

Needless to say, I really had no idea what A Christmas Carol is about.  This year, I got educated after our family went through a walking tour of A Christmas Carol exhibit in Philadelphia and later when we gathered around on Christmas Eve to watch the made-for-TV movie recreation of the story.  Despite the fact that we waited over an hour in line to see the exhibit, and the movie took some frightening liberties in depicting certain characters:

…becoming acquainted with the story opened my eyes to a number of Spiritual realities.

For those (like me) who don’t really know the story, here are the highlights (spoiler alert...but seriously, the book was written in 1843, so if no one has spoiled it for you by know, they need to):

A man named Ebenezer Scrooge hates Christmas.  He says “bah humbug” a lot (which I can only assume is the 1843 translation of “Ughhhhh >:-/”).  He lives only for his business and making money.  One night before Christmas, a ghost of Scrooge’s old business partner, Jacob Marley (who died seven years prior), visits Scrooge and warns him to change his selfish and greedy ways.  When he lived, Marley had the same negative attitude as Scrooge, and he warns Ebenezer that it has haunted him after death.  Scrooge is then visited by three spirits—the Ghost of Christmas Past who takes him back to his childhood, the Ghost of Christmas Present who shows him various people in his town who live humbly but have great joy, and the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come who shows him what the world will be like if Scrooge doesn’t change.  The visits with the ghosts are enough to convince Scrooge that there is more to life than his business, and in turn, he renews his attitude to be generous and enthusiastic about life.

Allusions to Scripture are all throughout the story:

“Darkness is cheap, and Scrooge liked it.” –A Christmas Carol

“But if anyone walks in the night, he stumbles, because the light is not in him.” (John 11:10)

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“There are some upon this earth of yours,' returned the Spirit, 'who lay claim to know us, and who do their deeds of passion, pride, ill-will, hatred, envy, bigotry, and selfishness in our name; who are as strange to us and all our kith and kin, as if they had never lived. Remember that, and charge their doings on themselves, not us.” –ACC

“Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’” (Matthew 7:22)

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“‘You fear the world too much,' she answered gently. 'All your other hopes have merged into the hope of being beyond the chance of its sordid reproach. I have seen your nobler aspirations fall off, one by one, until the master passion, Gain, engrosses you.’” –ACC

"No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth." (Matthew 6:24)

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“‘Come in!’ exclaimed the Ghost. ‘Come in! and know me better, man!”… ‘I am the Ghost of Christmas Present,’ said the Spirit. ‘Look upon me!’…‘Touch my robe!’” –ACC

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28)

“When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, ‘If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.’” (Mark 5:27-28)

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This year, Christmas has come and gone.  But the call to “come and know” Jesus is a daily one.  Each day I should try to know Him better than yesterday.  I should, by His grace, be more righteous than the day before.  There is hope in Christ to be the person I was made to be.

Scrooge had the life-altering chance to see what his life would be like if he continued in darkness; Jesus came so that we would not even have to dream of darkness.  Let us continue, each day, in the light as He is in the light.

“God bless us, every one!” –Ebenezer Scrooge

A Christmas Experience

Well…it’s been awhile!  I have, ashamedly, been off my blogging grind.  I wish I could say I have been taking this time to “lean in” to personal revelation and privately “unpack” some of the deep longings of my heart.

Truthfully…I’ve just been working.  A lot.  And here I am, in my cubicle, with a virtual and literal inbox (yes, people still have those) that can just never seem to stay empty.  But it’s 4:01pm the Friday before Christmas, the first snow of the season is falling outside, and my Spirit is telling me it’s time to step back.  (Honestly, I’ve been ignoring those words from the Spirit lately.)

Last night my best friends (@mkzekert, @tomlebo, @petehutchison) drove across the state to spend a few days with me in Pittsburgh and bring me back home for the long holiday weekend.  Simply being together is always enough to put our souls in peaceful places, but this weekend we are especially looking forward to:

A PITTSBURGH CHRISTMAS EXPERIENCE.

We have been referring to ourselves as “elves” ever since this trip was planned.  We packed silly Christmas sweaters.  Tonight we’ll go ice skating and tour the International Santa exhibit before walking around downtown to see the lights and the life-size nativity scene—in the snow.  Last night we stood at the top of Mount Washington and counted how many Christmas trees we could see in the city.  We took pictures with the (creepy) life-size Santa and Mrs. Claus in the grocery store.  I even got eggnog and peppermint stick frozen yogurt just because it seemed like…the Christmas experience.

I love these things.  I love friends who do them with me.  I think gradually over the last two years since graduating college, I’ve let my life become less fun—I need Christmas experiences to reclaim that fun.

But as trite as it is, at now 4:14pm on the Friday before Christmas, I am reminded that none of these things are the true Christmas experience.  I think we all know that Christmas isn’t about gifts or holiday parties or cookie trays (except when you work in the food distribution industry).  But we do let ourselves believe that it’s about family, that feeling you get when sitting next to a warm fire with snow falling outside, and being together with the people you love.

Really, it’s about none of those things either.

The Christmas experience is humility: Sovereign God coming to us—the people who rejected Him.  And our choice to lay everything at His feet, admitting that we need Him.

Last week as I was walking by the ice skating rink downtown, I heard the song “O Come All Ye Faithful” playing.  I stopped for a second to listen to the lyrics:

O come let us adore Him, Christ the Lord!

Couples and families glided around the large Christmas tree, seemingly unaware of the most beautiful and powerful invitation that has ever been given—the invitation to adore the humble King who saved us.  The scene was so ironic…kind of like our Lord being born in a manger.

Thank you, God, for letting me know your Son, and may my inbox and Starbucks red Christmas cups never keep me from that experience.

Merry Christmas!